This Is What I Know...

Mackenna started seeing a new speech therapist in June, Shelly. So far, she has been wonderful! One of the first things she did was to sit Mackenna behind a table in a chair for "table time." Her speech sessions are much more structured than they had been in the past. Mackenna is actually engaged during the sessions. Through Shelly's intervention with Mackenna, we have learned a lot in the last few weeks. I already knew this but it has been reaffirmed that we have a very bright daughter. Shelly has told me more than once that Mackenna is very intelligent. She has great eye contact, good cognitive learning skills, good attention to detail, and manipulative skills (I definitely knew she was developing this :). She has told me she has no doubts that Mackenna will speak and catch on to using words. Shelly has said that she doesn't think Mackenna sees the need to speak right now. She doesn't understand what verbal communication can get her. Shelly said it will be her job to help Mackenna see this connection.

There have also been other questions raised over the last few weeks as to whether or not Mackenna truly has Apraxia or even signs of Autism. There have been some tears and many discussions over the last few weeks between John and I and with God. We are leaving it all in His hands. We have decided not to have Mackenna evaluated or tested for anything right now. When we took her to see our pediatrician in March, he told us he thought Mackenna was just fine. If he thinks something is amiss at her 3 year appointment in October, then we will take his advice. He also told me to stop reading the internet. I have not exactly followed the doctor's orders in the last week! I think I've let my mind and my worries overtake me. I don't know how many times I have prayed asking God to just let Mackenna speak and do it consistently. I know it is wrong, and I know in some ways it is selfish. I never said I was a perfect parent or Christian! I have definitely experienced anxiety over the whole situation. Unfortunately, I have let my insecurities and fears get the best of me. I have had to learn to just breathe and not overreact. And like always, I have learned that everything truly is in God's hands and in His time. It is not in mine, and this is a situation I have no control over. For those who know me, you know that is difficult for me to do. Giving up control is not something that comes easy to me! So for now, we know Mackenna is a bright, funny, loving little girl who has a speech delay. Right now, we're leaving it at that!

Over the last two weeks, John and I have both noticed Mackenna's vocabulary picking up. She is getting a lot more vocal, and she is even repeating words she has said before! This is great, as in the past she has said a word once and then not again for two or three weeks. I have learned she is really catching on to imitating speech. I bought her a Michael Buble DVD a couple weeks ago. She would say "Baby" and "Woo" along with the songs and crowds. When she pooped in her pants a couple weeks ago, she was all about telling me about the "Poop" in her pants. Too bad we didn't say anything before we got to that point! ;) A couple weeks ago, my mom kept her for a little while when I took our dog to the vet. They had been playing with a "See N Say" that had a string on it. Mackenna wanted my mom to pull the string so she kept saying, "Do it again." Last Saturday night, Mackenna and I watched fireworks in New London with my parents. It was so hot outside that night. My mom decided a trip to get ice cream would help cool us off. Mackenna, my mom, and I sat outside at Sonic in Hannibal. Mackenna was sharing a banana fudge sundae with me. After a couple bites she made a hand signal for "More." I praised and praised her for doing it. A couple bites later, she shivered and said, "Cooold." This week she has said "Pa Pa"; "Bathroom"; "Happy"; "Up"; "Cup"; "Boat"; "Mine"; "Hot"; "By By"; "Home"; and "App" (when she wants to use an App, or Application on my iPhone). I will also admit she has said "Crap" a few times. It is amazing how she picks up on the words I do not want her to use! ;) For the last couple nights, she has been sleeping in her "big girl bed." Once she gets in the bed, she does great, but she's been having a hard time falling asleep. Getting her to go to bed these days is a struggle as well. I am sure she thinks she has more important things to do than sleep. Wednesday night she did not want to go to her room. She looked at me and said, "I mad." I told her I was sorry she was mad, but I have to say I was happy to hear it! She told me the same thing last night. I am sure I will get the same message tonight!

While Mackenna has been saying all of these words at home, she has not said anything but "Mom"; "Uh-uh"; and a few other short words in her speech therapy sessions. I tell Shelly all these words Mackenna is saying, and I know she must think I am lying. When I tell her the words Mackenna says, she just smiles. Thankfully that has changed! This week, Mackenna actually talked during the sessions, saying words like "Up" and "By By." Let's just hope the trend continues!

I will say though that as a parent, I do sometimes become frustrated when people ask me why my 2 year old is not speaking. And what is even more frustrating is the fact that I really do not have a definitive answer for that. What I do know is that I have a little girl that loves to dance around the room when her favorite cartoons come on. I have a little girl that wraps her arms around her Mommy many times during the day just to let me know she loves me. I have a little girl who loves to laugh and makes me laugh too. I have a little girl that is such a blessing in so many ways! This is what I know...