I Had Forgotten...

I know my daughter was born only three years ago, but I had forgotten how neat and life affirming it is to feel your baby move inside you. I did not feel Mackenna move for the first time until around week 17. With this baby, I started to feel movement at 14 weeks. It was very subtle at first, kind of like popcorn popping. In the last couple weeks, I have felt this baby move more and more. I got my first real "kick" last weekend. This baby really seems to be up and going between 6pm and 10pm every night. In fact, I have felt movement as I have been writing this.

Feeling the baby move makes this pregnancy that much more real to me. For the past 17 weeks, I feel as if I have been living in a dream. Yes, the nausea has certainly brought its own reality to my life. Yet, it just hasn't seemed real. Even hearing the heart beat and seeing the baby on two ultrasounds has not had the impact on me that feeling the baby move has. When I got pregnant in July, I was not expecting to ever be pregnant again. It had taken us 9 years to have Mackenna. She was certainly our miracle baby after being told we had less than a 20% chance of ever having children. After trying for 2 1/2 years, I had resigned myself to the fact that we would only have Mackenna biologically. We had filled out paperwork to adopt in the state of Missouri, and I gave up my maternity insurance. I just did not think I would be pregnant again. Of course I had prayed Mackenna would have a sibling. I learned so much from my brothers. I wanted her to learn the art of negotiation, learn how to truly laugh, and have someone to grow up with and love for the rest of her life. I did not want her to be an only child, yet I did not think a second child was possible. Obviously, God had other plans! He has taught me a lot about trust, patience, and doubts in the past three years. I should have learned a long time ago that when I give up and give it all to God, that is when the greatest blessings come!

I am so thankful to have a healthy baby growing inside me too! My doctor's visits have been great ones. My OBGYN has told me he is very happy with the way my pregnancy is progressing. Tomorrow I will be 18 weeks! Wow, that seems so unreal too! The last few months have gone by so fast! Since I will have the baby at 39 weeks (scheduled C-section), next week I will be halfway through this pregnancy. I am so thankful for a second trimester energy burst too! I actually feel better this time around then I did the first time. I think it is because my body had to get used to being pregnant the first time. This pregancy is not quite as dramatic. The ligament pains I had the first time are pretty non-existent this time. So far, I have only gained 3 1/2 pounds. I am thankful for that too! My goal is to gain under 20 lbs and then to lose it shortly after having the baby. I did it with Mackenna, and hopefully I can do it the second time too.

I just feel so blessed to be pregnant again! Looking in the mirror, I see a much more rounded tummy, and I absolutely love it! Having to buy maternity clothes is a blessing. Having Mackenna kiss my tummy or pat my tummy and say, "Baby" is just so sweet. It is moments I treasure! I can not wait until December 8th when we find out if we are having a girl or boy. One more step to making this pregnancy even seem more real! I am looking forward to not being able to see my feet, to feeling strong kicks, and to an ever expanding belly. I am so grateful, and God is so good! :)